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Prussia-Default
derruhm

I...really can't think of anything witty right now.

It's weird. It seemed like an ordinary day. I was sitting in English class, roughly 9 o'clock this morning,  working on my College Essay. My topic? Something that changed your perspective on life. Here I am, doodling lines about how much I hate church and an ambulance races by. As usual I poke my head up from my notes and should really loud "WONDER WHO DIED?" everyone chuckles some (teacher aside) and we go back to work.

I walk into my house, roughly 3 o'clock, and I find out who it was.

Alecia, my mother, was pronounced dead in her house at 10 o'clock this morning.

I know, you might be thinking that this is earth shattering to me, or at the very least upsetting. But no, not really. I've been bracing myself for this for... years. I'm not going to sugar coat it, Alecia was an awful mother. I hadn't said 'I love you' to her in years. And honestly, no, I'm not sad to see her go.

Everyone else is though. That surprises me. For YEARS she's systematically been disassembling this family. Everyone, crying for her, it seems surreal.

At least the nightmare is over. It is a shame it had to end this way, that she couldn't overcome her drug addiction and that it finally consumed her. But she won't be hurting anyone anymore. There's solace in that.

 

Right now I just feel kinda weird, mostly out of place. I don't feel sadness. Not even a bit. I just feel... relieved? Do I seem like a monster that I say that?

 

I dunno... my thoughts on it are still a bit scattered.


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